It's hard to believe it's been two years... I'm mean, it's a weird feeling. Every night when I go to bed, it's like it's the night of April 23, 2008. And I just saw my mom, I just talked to her. And then I wake up and a month has gone by, a year, two years. But it still feels like I just talked to her yesterday. No matter how much time has passed...it feels like she was just here.
But every time I look at Gavin - he's proof that time goes on. Everyday he grows and learns and marks the passage of time. Maybe you won't think I'm crazy for saying this...but watching him grow is really bittersweet.
When you lose someone who is such a big part of your life, you want time to stop right then. But it doesn't. But there is a piece of you that will forever be stuck in that moment in time. At least, that's how I feel. I feel like there is a part of me that is still living in April 24, 2008, and is stuck there in limbo.
Anyway, I was really proud of myself because I hadn't cried all day. But I just blew that.
Thanks for reading! And thanks to everyone that e-mailed, texted, facebooked or in other ways messaged me today. I know that your thoughts and prayers have carried me through this day. :)
Anyone else think it's weird seeing pictures of me with hair? I didn't realize what a drastic difference it is since I cut it all off!!
Just know people still think of her fondly :)
ReplyDeleteAll her former preschool students, her friends, your friends and the list goes on.
She loved you very much and would be very proud of the mother you have become and I have no doubt you will make sure gavin "knows" her.
My mom's mother passed from breast cancer right before I was born and honestly I love her so much and never met her. May seem strange but she has always been a part of my life.
Just know that lots of people are lifting you up in prayer. Praying for strength for you :)
jade